May 22, 2012

10 basic tube rules

As much as I love the city of London, there's one aspect of it that I hate more than anything: the underground. Sure, its efficient and expansive but it's also smelly and crowded. Every time I go under I find myself holding my breath and scared to touch anything for fear of coming into contact with a stranger's flavours. The tube drains the soul out of people; they sit there looking gloomy and pissed off. Tourists {which I don't consider myself, of course} are also pretty annoying because they just don't get the unspoken rules of the tube. I was discussing this with someone {everyone has something to say about their daily soul-draining commute} and they pointed out that there aren't any set rules or basic "tube etiquette" outline. Since then I've brought this up with various city rats who all agreed on the following 10 basic tube rules which could make getting from A to B a little more bearable
{commuters & tourists take note, we're all guilty of a few of these!}:

1. Make yourself as small as possible (this goes for carrying bags on your back, sticking legs out into the aisle)

2. No leaning body against the pole (otherwise other people can't hold on to the pole for support)

3. No double page spread newspaper reading 

4. Don't leave gaps/spaces - even distribution of bodies {ie: Don't all crowd by the door or the entrance to the platform - S P R E A D O U T!}

5. No loud music {use noise cancelling earphones}

6. No food {Doesn't matter if it's your Mum's spaghetti - it's smelly}

7. Give way for those getting out of the tube before you step through the door

8. Chivalry people! Give seats and make way for pregnant women, senior citizens and the disabled/injured.

9. No pushing, shoving or trampling {unless absolutely necessary but then just smile and say sorry}

10. No farting or offensive body odours {I guess the same applies here}

I'd personally say that the number one rule in life is to smile and be polite but I think that's pushing it a bit in this case. Let's hope Boris sees this list and prints out a few copies before the Olympics hit London and it gets really crazy up in here.



  1. these are EXCELLENT rules. now we just need to tell each London commuter about them, because they are completely unfamiliar with Tube etiquette...

  2. These are great rules.. How did you ever come up with them