June 21, 2012

UnDutchable: 5 Reasons I will never date a Dutch man

I can already hear my Mum telling me to "never say never" but since living in Amsterdam I've come to the conclusion that Dutch men just aren't my thing. I do have male Dutch friends and I think they're great; they're just not someone I will ever date. The average Dutch guy who I know is tall, athletic, with longish hair and a pretty laid back attitude. Great fun to hang out with, not so much fun to have as your boyfriend as far as I'm concerned. Here's the reason this Bajan will never date a Dutch man:

{Disclaimer: These opinions are purely my own & are based on my experience as a single girl living in Amsterdam over the past year so take it all with a pinch of salt}

1. Chivalry is long dead and buried

I'm not expecting Prince Charming to come and sweep me off of my feet, nor do I expect women to be treated as subordinates or anything ridiculous like that but there's a part of me that has a soft spot for the guy who opens doors, offers his seat {Common decency as well as chivalry} and even treats a girl to a nice meal. He can be charming as well as respectful, with an understanding of how to treat a lady. As far as I've seen, this isn't the case in The Netherlands in general. Women have fought long and hard to be treated fairly in all aspects of Dutch life and it seems to have made its way down to the dating scene; "Going Dutch" was started here. I've spoken to many Dutch women and girls about this and they seem to agree with how things are done: by paying for their share of things for example they aren't putting themselves in a position of obligation. At the end of the night they don't owe him anything and have more control over how things will go. Seems fair but it's very different from what I'm used to. Money issues aside, it still bothers me that men here seem to treat girls as friends and then as their 'chicky' - there's no period of courting in between. There's no wooing, schmoozing or subtle play on words. I think the Dutch directness is to blame; they've be raised to be blunt, gruff and generally tell it like it is {Now where's the fun in that?}

2. It's hockey or nothing

Hockey boys are the cool kids on the block over here. This would be OK if that meant that they didn't eat, sleep and breathe hockey and all that came with it {Think cocky attitudes, groupies & bromance to the extreme} Probably doesn't help that I really know nothing about the sport so can hardly be impressed when a guy proudly announces that he plays for Heren 1, expecting me to swoon or something.

3. They spend more time on their hair than I do

I think this may be narrowed down to the type of guys I've been exposed to mainly; they're known as 'kakkers' {Preppy boys/toffs} and love their long locks, constantly tucking it behind their ears. It's usually thick, curly and completely smothered in hair gel {yes, hair gel} Their crunchy curls are stuck to their heads, safe from the wind when riding their bikes. The Urban Dictionary even defined this Dutch hairstyle as the “Dutch Prince": A haircut obtained when you have long hair over your ears, and you cut your bangs to above your eyebrows. Very popular among hockey players who want to have long hair, but do not want impaired vision.  Hockey boys, football players, 'kakkers' and 'yuppies' all seem to go for this look, maybe because they're too cheap for a good haircut. Which leads me to my next reason...

4. They're cheap

Cheapness is a personal thing, everyone handles money differently and this is of course, a massive generalisation: But Dutch men are 'cheapos'! They're constantly on the look out for a deal, openly ask about money {so NOT the British thing to do} and can be pretty awkward about things like paying for rounds of drinks or owing money. You'd think it was a student thing but young professionals and mature business people alike are pretty open about pinching those pennies. My issue with it is this: if you're going to be cheap then at least try to be subtle about it.

Crown Prince Willem-Alexander and Princess Maxima at Beijing 2008 Olympic Games. 

5. They pick their nose in public 

This seems to be a Dutch thing in general. Throughout my time as a nanny I've seen endless amounts of children picking their noses so hard you'd think they were trying to scratch their brains and yet their parents see nothing wrong with that. Because, low and behold, Daddy is doing the exact same thing right behind them. 

The Dutch paper 'gezondNU' conducted a study in the Netherlands and found that over 90% of the Dutch pick their noses. Moreover, half of the respondents do so more than once a day and nearly 50% of all Dutch people find nose-picking to be “disgusting” when they see it. The study goes on to say that over a third of Dutch men report that they like to “..draai er een balletje van en schiet dat weg” (roll it in a ball and flick it). Ewwwww. I've had 'baby daddys' (Parents of children who I babysit) pick their noses mid conversation and flick their find on the floor in front of me (to say it's an awkward moment is an understatement) This disgusting behaviour isn't limited to noses either; they'll happily put their hands down their pants and scratch an itch or lean back on a chair to expose their tummies (no lie, this happened to my housemate during a meeting!). 

Now don't get me wrong, I love my Dutch family and male friends and I'm sure many will disagree with me on these things but this is what I've experienced so far with the Dutch men/boys. Maybe I'm being too harsh or maybe I'm just going out and socialising in the wrong places...

Either way, I'm not done yet so stay tuned for more on Dutch Dating.


1 comment:

  1. Oh gosh, hope this wasn't meant to happen, but Dutch men definitely do not appeal to me! I was cringing so bad when you were saying about how they scratch certain places in public and pick their nose, etc. URGH! That is so gross. I hope they carry hand sanitizer round with them.
    I definitely think English lads spend a long time on their hair as well, my brother is a lame excuse for a male. He spends almost half an hour on his hair each morning and he barely has any on his head!